We're not too fussy about musical taste: in fact everything from Bananarama to Beirut graces the turntables at SchNEWS Towers but here's a genre we felt deserved wider exposure – ambient fash-hop.

Now, fascism has always been proof that the devil definitely doesn't have all the best tunes, and in recent years at least white supremacist music has followed the well-beaten path of Oi Punk and it's offshoots – but not this time...

This daring genre mash-up was the stand-out moment of the the Scottish National Front's election campaign. Of course it has to be heard to experience it's full majesty, but if you took the time to imagine one of Tricky's earlier efforts revived via the medium of a Bontempi organ and the solo vocals of a disgruntled Glaswegian Nazi then you wouldn't be far wrong.

So far the track has accumulated 3000 visits on Youtube, roughly ten times the number of votes the NF received in the electoral contest. Sadly the genius behind this avant-garde leap into the musical darkness has remained anonymous, but we can't help wondering what's next – Balkanized Gypsy Swing, Reich & Roll or Drum & Race anyone?

Free graphics book to the best suggestion.

The media has faithfully been doing the government's propaganda work for it this week by talking up all the big military exercises and showing off ahead of the Olympics. Witness the elite, seriously tooled up British forces parading their capabilities, ready for anything. A massive muscle-flexing exercise to shit up and terrorists, or the population at large, from trying anything during the big blow out.

Less well publicised is the casual approach to security shown by some of those 'elite forces' at a tower block in Tower Hamlets. A local resident was most surprised on coming out of his building to find a huge pile of seriously hardcore-looking military equipment; guns, missile-launchers, suspicious looking bags and boxes all heaped up around the front door. And nobody anywhere to be seen. It's as if discovering Parcelforce have just delivered Armageddon to your door, without even stopping to get a signature. Cue hasty arrival of embarrassed soldiers, from whereabouts unknown.

Fortunately for us, we live in the 21^st century and every second person carries a video camera in their pocket. See the amusing scene here. (Well not quite whole scene; we don't see the soldiers arrive, but we imagine it along the lines of Right lads, we've unloaded all the vital equipment and weapons, stick'em over there – now, anyone fancy a coffee?)

Rupert Murdoch is a commie... it's official, well at least according to our friends on the various forums and facebook sites that make up the collective half-wit of the far-right. Just imagine returning home, exhausted from your efforts to hold the George Cross high and shout racist abuse while being showered with horse-shit by a bunch of communist homosexual freaks -  only to find out that your favourite newspaper has a decidedly different take on events.

Hilariously the Sun Says op-ed piece on Monday blamed the 'neo-Nazis' of the EDL for dragging the flag 'through the gutter'. This one fact did more to rile the knuckle-draggers of the March for England than any number of airborne bottles of piss.

In fact some of the EDLs intellectual vanguard are beginning to suspect that the red-tops aren't telling the whole truth (!), with one online marcher spouting “DONT BUY A F*CKING NEWSPAPER. IT SPOUTS THE SAME B*LLOCKS ALL THE TIME. TAKE A LEAF OUT OF LIVERPOOL. MOST OF THEM DONT BUY THE SUN ANYMORE SO BOYCOTT ALL NEWSPAPERS!”

Now lads – if you could just extend that (albeit slightly faulty) logic to all the “Muslamic suicide-nonce Sharia Law benefit fraud shame” stories that got you so riled up in the first place, then maybe we could all enjoy next years St George's Day in peace.

Brighton cops have launched a nation-wide manhunt for an insurgent who used a sophisticated device to disable a vital part of their transportation network. Babylon issued a statement saying:

“Sussex Police have released CCTV images of a man they are keen to trace following the find of several large wood nails that had been placed at the entrances of Brighton police station car parks on Friday 23  March.” Apparently all three carpark entrances were thoroughly seeded with the pointy little fuckers.
Alarmingly, but ungrammatically the statement continued “We believe that this is not the first time nails have been placed at the car park entrances but on this occasion a sergeant’s car tyres have been punctured by the mystery nails.”
Police are seeking a 60 year old man in blue baseball cap with an orange carrier bag, possibly a Sainsbury’s ‘bag for life’. If you know the mystery shopper, then you know what to do – buy him a pint!

Man's best friend, police's worst nightmare

Tragically an unarmed dog was gunned down by police on Thursday morning. He was shot while attempting to de-arrest his human during a raid by officers from the Met at 9am.

As colleagues heroically stood on a wall out of harms way and watched, the dog managed to keep one cop busy for some time. Unfortunately CO19 were called in and the dog was shot.

On a lighter note, five officers required hospital treatment including one who may need skin grafts to his arms and legs. To see the heroic pooch's last stand watch the video here.

Russia's elections- fraudulent, corrupt, proof that Russia is still a one party state with nothing but a figleaf of democracy. If that's what you think then you're dead wrong. At least, that's what Nick Griffin discovered after he went on an all-expenses-paid trip to oversee the Russian elections earlier this month. Nasty Nick came out with some insightful comments into the true nature of the Eastern Land of the Free such as “Putin’s Russia is more democratic than Cameron’s UK Banana Republic,” and “I went half expecting to see a poorly designed system vulnerable to fraud. I was stunned to discover instead a robust, transparent and properly democratic system that made me even more aware than ever of the … shambles that masquerades as free and fair elections in Great Britain.”

Griffin's BNP has been desperate to blame its consistently terrible electoral performance on anything other than the fact that their nothing but a bunch of ugly thugs that everybody hates, so slagging off the British electoral system has become more or less instinctive for him nowadays. Yet somehow (maybe free vodka or a the promise of a mail order bride) has led him to become a useful idiot for Putin, who's autocratic, nationalist populist style is probably the sort of thing that Nick imagines he would be like as leader, when he's practising in front of a mirror alone at home.

Does pose the question, if Nick Griffin loves Russia so much, why doesn’t he go and live there?

Police in Siberia have been facing a threat to the Russian state that they have been totally unprepared for. It's not fascist gangs nor Chechen terrorists this time, but children's toys and Lego models that have been shaking the establishment to its very core with angry 2cm² placards. In the city of Barnaul, police have been seeking ways to combat the mass, miniature protest toy protest that is #occupySIBERIA.

Siberia's top investigators think that they may have found the ringleaders though: Prosecutor Sergei Kirei had this to say, “People are not stupid. The figurines did not come there by themselves. They did not write the placards on their own.”

Having identified the leaders of the toy protest as full sized human beings, they have been trying to clamp down on the human element. One sympathiser with the diminutive Occupy offshoot explained the logic to the petite protests.

“They tried to tell us our event was illegal – they even said that to put toys in the snow, we had to rent it from the city authorities. The authorities’ attempt to limit citizens’ rights to express their position has become absurd. We wanted to hyperbolise this attempt and show the absurdity and farce of officials’ struggle with their own people.”

For pictures of the protest, check out http://www.jeremyriad.com/blog/editorials/siberian-city-uses-toys-to-protest-russian-corruption/